The Potter Stalks Evans Chronicles
by darth spots and darth stripes
Summary: James Potter thinks he’s wicked stealthy, devilishly handsome and irresistibly romantic; Lily Evans begs to differ – she thinks he’s just freakishly stalker-y. Five-parter, LJ


_Author's Notes: Once again, a sudden idea popped into my head (like they always do, I suppose) and just had to be written down – well, the first chapter, at least. Short, simple, sweet; Enjoy, my pretties._

**FIC-STATS: Expected to be 5 mini-chapters; with a sixth, longer, conclusion-chapter.**

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_Summary: __James Potter thinks he's wicked stealthy, devilishly handsome and irresistibly romantic; Lily Evans begs to differ – she thinks he's just freakishly stalker-y. _

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**The "Potter Stalks Evans" ****Chronicles **

**Part One: The Breakfast Incident**

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Lily Evans sat at the table; normally, innocently. After all, it was hard to be anything other whilst eating morning toast.

It was a good time of day, breakfast. Thoughts, expectations of the day ahead filled her mind.

Of course, what she couldn't know is that her day was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

Potter-fied, it seemed.

James Potter arrived for breakfast; innocently – but not at all _normally_.

He was dishevelled; his hair, if possible, _more_ messed and his eyes marked with faint dark circles.

Lily would normally not have noticed this, of course, but since he had decided to sit _directly opposite _herself, she didn't have much choice in the matter.

Half awake, he practically collapsed into the seat.

Lily rolled her eyes – he was clearly not an early riser.

Having caught up with his brain and the fact that he was securely _on_ the chair, James yawned elaborately, and finally managed to focus his eyes on Lily.

"Morning," he grinned impishly - something that was not as effective as it could've been, given his half-conscious state.

"Good morning, Potter," it was all Lily could do to not roll her eyes at the idiocy of the situation.

James seemed to sway in his chair, and Lily began to wonder if he'd drank some Firewhiskey, or if he was just _really_ not a morning person.

Swaying nonetheless, James managed to pour his pumpkin juice successfully.

"So, how are we this fine, fine morning, Lily-flower?" he managed to drowsily form the words.

"Uh-uh. Not 'Lily-flower'. Everyone already knows a lily is a flower, they don't need to be reminded," Lily amended.

James pouted, "But… I like 'Lily-flower'."

"No," Lily said firmly, "If it's 'Lily-flower' today, it'll be 'she with the gleaming hair of remarkable red' tomorrow. So, no."

"'She with the remarkable hair of red'… has a ring to it," James mused, "Swtrhor, for short."

It was painstakingly obvious he was not yet awake.

And most of all, to Lily, it was incredibly humorous to listen to him attempt to formulate impossible acronyms.

She unsuccessfully held back a laugh, toast still being chewed, and almost choked.

"_Ow,_" she exclaimed at the sudden pain in her lip.

"What?" his sleepy eyes snapped to life with confusion, and concern.

"I just bit my lip," Lily explained, or rather, whined.

"Want me to kiss it better?" James asked, a little to quickly – perhaps even by his standards.

"Yeah, we're not at all friends – but that'd be _great_," she said sarcastically to the point of no return.

Either he was stupider than Lily thought, and didn't catch on to the sarcasm, or he was just really, really keen for a snog, because James leant across the table expectantly.

"Uh, no, Potter," Lily tried to explain, but he couldn't – or wouldn't? – hear her.

He zeroed in for the kill; Lily leant back.

James leant even further, so he was now practically lying on the table.

Lily edged further backwards, losing her place on the seat and tipping over backwards – the end result of which was a whole lot of shock, and legs up in the air.

Not at all lady-like, for sure.

James seemed to snap out of his kiss-haze, and gulped.

"Er… Lily?"

"_What,_ Potter?" she spat.

"You 'kay?" James managed, in an abnormally soprano voice.

"Yep. Just dandy," Lily deadpanned.

"So…" He casually ventured, "Wanna go out sometime?"

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_**End; Part One.**_

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**_What's to come?_**

_**In Part Two, James decides that 'chivalry is not dead', and intends to prove this to our wonderful Lily Evans. Of course, nothing quite goes to plan, now, does it? And, I suppose, perhaps he should apologise for the pain he has caused poor little Lily.**_

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_With love,_

_Michelle_


End file.
